injun magick.

the ice storm was produced from the magic of old cherokees who wanted to show the new generation how old school goonery went down...thugged out in feathers with rusty knife blades they grinned in the light of the electricity exploding.

smells like doo doo.

monday i awoke around two fifteen got ready and scurried to my truck. on friday when i drove up it had smelled really awful. like doo doo really badly. i was checking my shoes and swiped my butt with a finger but it wasn't me or on me. well monday the cab of the truck was warm and the odor had me gagging. I made it to the quicktrip near the steel shop with my head all but out my window for the entire drive. I began searching my vehicle like one of those cops on tv hunting for drugs. thats when i found a swollen shitty pamper skillfully placed under my passenger seat. i guess during thanksgiving someone gave me a to go treat. I'm pretty sure i know who it was and they are going to pay come christmas.

UNTITLED

when they first came and got me from assembly to start welding I was put with this well read intelligent hateful old soul named chastain. He told me that I wasn't a welder and that I was never going to be a welder and that all I could count on being was a fat cheeseburger swallowing piece of shit. We started work at 5am. Chastain told me not to open my fucking mouth until he had had his twinkie, bag of doritos, and pepsi. He ate this at 6am. If I didn't comply with his requests he said I could go back to pushing bolts like all the other deadbeat bridgepeople winos from cardboardbox city. He bossed me around told me to grind this and lift that do all his shit work. Around 8am an indian would come by from Cleveland with five or six trivia questions some of them were stumpers. One of the questions was in moby dick name the indian aboard the pequod. Chastain strained and racked his brain.
I said Tashtego to him.
He looked amazed and soon our trivia team was unbeatable
but he never stopped cussing me out or letting me know I was a loser

UNTITLED

shit my dad has ruined more than his fair share of holidays like when he got drunk and pissed all over the christmas presents then stumbled into the tree taking it out or when he went off the deep end and threatened some family friends with verbal insults but the best time was when he attacked my mom with a pecan cracker. I'm in good spirits for this thanksgiving though cause my folks are seperated.

UNTITLED

Tom Christopher is never happy.
He cusses, throws, and kicks things on a daily basis. One time he threw his chilidogs in the ditch because the horn sounded indicating lunch was over just as he was walking into the building. Alvin got the chilidogs (still in their wrapper) and took them inside and ate them in front of tom which infuriated him to the point of throwing a wrench across the shop. The entire time he was ranting MFer and CSer in multiple sequences. On another occassion in skiatook he went out to his truck for lunch. The men seen him examining his brown sack lunch from a distance then heard the cursing as he began slinging his chips and sandwich across the parking lot. He had left his window down and a cat had skillfully entered his cab and ate a portion of his tuna salad sandwich.

the Mergar of Mingo creek

Today at work I told everyone that when I had to drive across the flooded bridge that I spotted something in the water. I told them it had the body of a beautiful female and the head of an alligator gar. I told them that it spoke to me and told me to clasp onto its waste and it would swim me to an under water cavern with a magical ice chest of beer and whiskey. It called me by my name. I was scared and screamed how do you know my name. Then I drove on to work. I told them that Mergars were common in that small creek. They told me I still smelled like whiskey and was likely still intoxicated. They were probably right.