no title

i must have been around twenty when I got my first and only boil
I was ashamed and embarrassed
much like the time I first
contracted pubic lice
I believe I was fourteen then
however
the second time I contracted pubic
lice I was ok with it
because I had been asking my mom
for an ant farm
and she wouldn't buy me one
from the pet shop in the mall
I looked at the lice as
being my own little "portable ant farm" that I could share with friends
back to the boil
I was in a humanities course at
the NorthEast TCC campus
early in the morning and those
desks played hell on the boil
that was right in the beginning of
my arse crack
I would get to class early so that people wouldn't have to see me
maneuver my way in my desk
wincing and talking to jesus the
entire time mind you
well I thought it would go away
but it didn't
I had to go to the family physician
in collinsville
he had me take off my pants and
climb up onto his cold tan vinyl examiming bench with the rough white paper on it
my butt was hunched up in the air
and he gave me a shot for the pain in my boil
his nurse was gorgeous and young and new at being a nurse
he cut the boil in an x shape and began working out the infection
the nurse became ill and had to leave the room
I didn't mind because the release of pressure was like
Zeus's first orgasm
he told me after I had my pants back on and was bandaged up he got
nearly a cup of pus out of that boil
he said they were common but he hadn't ever seen anyone let one get that bad before


yours,

huling

revenge of the blooger

"why do you pick your nose
and fart so much
you have no couth"
"eat shit melvin you're from nowata"
I felt the sharp blockage in my upper nasal passage and was tempted to use needle nose pliers
to dislodge it but that would be cheating I thought
I worked on that booger for about 4 minutes in front of melvin before I was finally able to grab the crusty head of it and pull it out
i likened it to giving birth and when seeing it displayed on my finger it was complete with a crusted green tip that turned into a slimy crimson tail
"awwww its a blooger see melvin"
"get the fuck back"
I taunted him with it a few times before wiping it on one of the dayshift guys toolbox