Daddy Takes HIs Visitation

My momma is from the sort of redneck family that eat what they hit with the truck (that's how I ate armadillo), but my daddy came from the sort of middle-class life depicted in Leave It To Beaver. He was raised with three square meals a day, regular visits to the doctor, and a stay-at-home mom that baked cookies and ironed creases into his slacks. From a long line of intelligent, artistic stock, Daddy had a genius level IQ and a love of chemistry.

When Daddy was 16, he met my uncle Wolfman, and fell in love with the trashier side of life. He started smoking pot and riding Harley's, and generally doing what he could to disappoint his family. When he was 19, he swept my 14 year old Momma off her feet, deposited his seed inside her, and nine months later, I was born. Aside from picking my name, Rebel Star, Daddy wasn't very interested in me or Momma, so he spent his money on guitars and motorcycles.

When Momma left, she told Daddy that he would have to support me if he wanted visitation. Daddy explained that he had just put a down payment on a new Harley, so he would just "catch up with me later". Momma shacked up with a new man. Since I was only two, she just let me exist under the impression that the new man was my Daddy. In her defense, I didn't even notice until I was 6. That was the year I was re-introduced to my "real" Daddy.

I was at my grandparent's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I was in the game room, playing Clue with my cousin Stephen, when my Nana entered, dragging a hippy behind her.

"Rebel, this is your real daddy, Paul."

"Hi, Rebel, I brought you a present."

He handed me a Cover Girl eyeshadow kit.

"I thought you might like to put makeup on."

I just stared at him. I didn't even know that I had a "real daddy", and I certainly had no idea that he looked like John Lennon.

Shortly after our awkward reunion, Daddy was sent to prison for using his chemistry knowledge to manufacture methamphetamines. I started receiving letters from him, promising that he would shower me with gifts upon his parole, and pay for me to attend Southern Methodist University if I was interested in going. The letters came weekly until he was released, then he disappeared for two years.

When I was 8, Momma got a call from Daddy's new wife, Glenda. She explained that Daddy had a new family, was settled down, and he would like to take his visitation. Momma agreed.

Daddy and Glenda came to pick me up on a Friday night. I met my new brother and sister in the car. Nelson was 1 and Staley was 3 months old. Daddy was blasting Hank Williams Jr.'s "Attitude Adjustment."

"I really like this song, Rebel. I identify with it, because I want to hit people in the head with a hammer too."

We were going to Daddy's double-wide trailer, in a seedy part of the outskirts of Dallas. The first thing I saw when we got to the house was waterbeds. Instead of a couch, there was a king-size waterbed in the living room.

"Why don't you have a couch Daddy?"

"Because a waterbed is better. This is a waveless waterbed, top of the line."

I wandered from room to room and found a waterbed in every one.

"Why do you have so many waterbeds?"

"People like to trade with me, so I traded for all these waterbeds."

When I reached the dining room, I found a shelf that was packed with Commodore 64 computers.

"Daddy, where did all these computers come from? Can I have one?"(I had been dying for a Commodore since I'd learned to write programs for them in gifted & talented.)

"I traded for those too. Pick out which one you want, and Glenda will pack it up for you."

Every where I looked, there were multiples of expensive electronics, crammed on shelves and collecting dust. I counted 12 VCRs. We couldn't even afford one VCR at my house.

We ate dinner, and Daddy explained that Glenda would take me to Wal-Mart the next day, where I would be allowed to buy anything that I wanted. The idea of shopping without limitations was very exciting, because my parents never let me buy anything.

True to their word, the next morning, Glenda and I went to Wal-Mart. She gave me a shopping cart.

"Fill it up with whatever you want."

"Do you have enough money for that?"

"Don't worry about it, Rebel. Pick out whatever you want."

I filled my basket with lip gloss, Lee Press-On Nails, mathematics workbooks, and 45's. No matter what I crammed into the cart, she never raised an eyebrow. If she saw me lingering by an item that I was too shy to get, she would put them in the cart and say, "Get anything you want."

We walked the aisles of Wal-Mart for hours before I got my fill. When we checked out, our total was $385. I was sure I was in trouble, but Glenda just pulled a thick roll of hundred dollar bills from her purse and handed four to the cashier.

After Wal-Mart, Glenda took me to the video store, where I was allowed to rent 8 movies of my choice. She explained that Daddy could use the VCRs to make copies of the videos.

"I don't have a VCR," I said.

"We have plenty, you can just take one of ours."

I never actually spent any time with my Daddy that weekend, because he spent the whole time on the phone, but I came home in a car full of gadgets and treasures. I couldn't wait to tell my Momma about my shopping trip.

"Momma, they let me buy whatever I want, and I got a VCR, and Daddy has a waterbed in every room, and Glenda has more money in her purse than they have at the bank!"

Momma looked at my step-dad and said, "He's still cooking speed."

I kept expecting Daddy to come back, but that was his one and only visitation. I still see him every five years or so, and he always has a reason why things turned out the way they did. His reasons range from my Momma's inability to make a good pot roast, to the "man's" continued harassment of chemists.