Saturday, January 16, 2010

Bear vs. doe

Bear said he was pulling a 14 ft. trailer full of firewood behind his dually pickup truck, on his way home from work, just before dark. He was cruising along at 70 miles per hour, listening to some Waylon Jennings, when the doe darted out from the edge of the forest, and ran straight into the side of his trailer. "What the fuck was that," Bear hollered, and pulled onto the shoulder. He reached behind the seat for his rifle and remembered that he'd left that sumbitch over at Cooder's house after he got too shitfaced after their last huntin' trip, so he pulled his survival knife from the glovebox. By the time he got to the back of the trailer, the doe, both front legs badly broken, was struggling onto her back legs. And while he watched, that motherbitch started JUMPIN' back towards the forest, like a fuckin' kangaroo or some shit. So Bear had to run after her, but she was scared, and hoppin' fast, and Bear had to TACKLE her, and cut her throat from behind. He called the game warden, and the game warden took her to a poor family over in Woden, so they'd have some meat to eat.

It was the right thing to do.

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