Your gun girlfriend

I get it guys, I really do. Your special lady doesn't care if you go with the AK-47 with milled receiver or the Bushmaster AR chambered in 6.8mm. Her eyes don't light up like mine do when waxing poetic about the benefits of Crimson Trace laser grips or why you really should spend the extra ten bucks to get those hot little Hornady Critical Defense rounds for your carry pistol. She doesn't understand the thrill of hitting the target dead center with your Colt .38 Super at 75 yards, or why the smell of gunpowder gets you all riled up. And she certainly can't disassemble and clean your 1911 like I can. In fact, she thinks it's stupid to spend $600 on that Leupold scope with the Boone & Crockett reticle.

So I'm your gun girlfriend. You hang around the shop, talking guns with me for hours, and sometimes you look down my shirt, or hug me a little too long. I can live with these things, for a fee. See, it's not you I'm in love with, it's your firepower. That's why I'm gonna hafta start charging you by the hour for my gun girlfriend services. We can still do all the things we did before, like compare the ballistics of the .257 Roberts vs. the .257 Weatherby, or debate whether or not you should pony up the cash to get that trigger job you want for your Glock, you're just gonna pay me to do it. What I'm trying to say is, my services are no longer free boys.