Dear Diary, I can’t believe it happened to me....

Brother Otis Shows Me Some Love

Brother Otis came to visit me at the shop last week. He was decked in camouflage fatigues, a green beret, and since he was lacking combat boots to complete his look, he substituted motorcycle boots.

"Otis, you look nice today."

"Oh thank you, Reb-uh. You like my green beret?"

"Yeah, it looks nice."

"This is an official German military green beret. I ordered it from North Carolina. I went to Germany in the service, and I love it there. They have them Aryan women, with blonde hair and blue eyes. You can't get any more beautiful than that, don't you think Reb-uh?"

"I don't know Otis, I like variety. All colors, shapes and sizes. It would be boring if everyone looked the same."

"Reb-uh, you're funny."

I asked Otis if I could take a picture of his outfit for my collection.

"Yes. I'll stand at attention. How's this? Do I look official?"

"Yep, you sure do."

After I took his picture, Aunt Cheryl suggested that she take a picture of Brother Otis with his arm wrapped around me.

"Oh this is gonna be romantic," Otis said.

After the picture was taken, he made kissy noises on my neck.

"Oh, I'm sorry Reb-uh, that wasn't Christian of me. You're a married woman."

"That's okay, Otis, you didn't hurt anything."

"Oh good, 'cause you're a good friend. Send me a copy of that photograph. I like to see what all my outfits look like."