I Have Found My Life’s Purpose

It is carnival and livestock expo time in Nacogdoches, Texas, a magical time of year.
OR
It is convenient to attend a small town carnival with a small town celebrity.

When we arrived at the carnival, Dot and I headed straight to the FFA barns to admire the cows and goats. Eric isn't as enchanted by livestock as we are, so he wandered the midway. Dot and I walked up and down the stalls, pausing to admire the clean, scrubbed and fluffy cows, with their big, wet eyes. As we passed, they raised their heads to moo a salutation to us, their admirers. We were completely charmed. We watched a pair of cows engage in a head-butting contest, the winner being given first chance at the hay bucket. There was a 5 year old boy walking a tiny calf on a rope, so we watched them struggle, the boy to move the cow to her stall, the cow to remain by the feed bucket. When the boy's grandfather intervened, we walked to the goat pens. The goats were beautifully groomed, and resembled giant puppies with floppy ears and hooves. They entertained us by climbing on their pen-mate's backs, and chewing things that shouldn't be chewed, like wood and steel. Dot and I plan to get a goat very soon. Maybe a cow too. Dot has named our imaginary future cow Sadie, while I want to call her Buttermilk.

After our animal adventures, we headed to the midway to test Dot's luck in a game of skill, and to track Eric down. We passed a booth, worked by an elderly man, selling necklaces with free engraving. I encouraged her to pick one out, and she decided on a silver unicorn. I wrote her name on an index card so the elderly man would have it as a reference while engraving. He spelled the name wrong. It says "Dorth". Dot was not amused, but I think it's funny. She gave the necklace to me, and I plan to wear it. Dot played a dart game (3 darts for $5) and she busted two balloons, winning a medium stuffed animal. The carney working the game flirted with me, and then tried to steal my lighter.

When we caught up with Eric, Aunt Cheryl, and grandma, Aunt Cheryl (small town celebrity) had a sheet of ride tickets that someone had given her. No one else wanted them, so Eric and I ran off to spend them. The first ride up was the SeaRay (the giant boat that swings back and forth), operated by the most charming carney I have ever met. As we boarded, he asked, "Are ya'll ready for this?" We assured him we were. As we waited for the ride to start, I noticed a two-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper sitting on the railing in the middle of the boat. "Why is that there" I asked Eric. The carney overheard and answered "Another worker left it there." The boat started swinging, making me squeal. "You're just gettin' started darlin'" the carney shouted. The ride was more powerful than we anticipated, but we had fun, watching small children scream during the long fall from the top. As he stopped the boat, the carney asked "Did ya'll enjoy it? I know how to make this baby hum. I didn't even take you as high as I could have." He went on the explain that the two-liter was there to demonstrate gravity, and told us about zero-gravity and g-forces. As he talked, I realized that I want to be a carney.

We rode the Tilt-A-Whirl and the Gravitator and ate carnival food, turkey leg for Eric, nachos for me. We eventually found Dot, grandma, and Aunt Cheryl. Dot was loaded with stuffed animals, including a four foot tall giraffe. "I won him for you Mama. I knew you would love him. Are you going to name him Ted Nugent?" She knows me so well. I AM going to name him Ted Nugent, and he will sit next to Ted Nugent the wooden giraffe (if you have read the book "Giraffes? Giraffes!, I will not sound as crazy). We shared funnel cake, and Dot went home with grandma. Eric and I walked around for an hour and enjoyed more rides.

We rode the Hurricane, which whipped around in a circle, crushing my ribs and injuring my neck. The entire time we were on the Hurricane, I could only think, "What if they can't stop this thing, and I have to ride it forever? I think it would take too long for me to die" and "If that cable snaps, I will instantly be decapitated. I wonder how well they maintain these rides?" Then I let Eric talk me into riding the Ferris wheel, despite my hatred of heights. Once inside the car, I realized I had made a grievous error. To distract myself from the panic-attack happening in my brain, I regaled Eric with facts about the first Ferris wheel, built for the 1896 Chicago World's Fair. (If anyone is interested in these facts, let me know. I hate Ferris wheels, but love the story of the first Ferris wheel.) We headed home shortly after riding the swings, and I spent the night fantasizing about working the carnival. A life of travel, smoking while buckling children into rides, flirting with the pretty ladies, and cotton candy. It's my life's purpose.