I Love You, LoneStar, But I'm Afraid We're Gonna Have To Part Ways...

I love you, LoneStar beer. You're brewed in my home state, cheap & tasty, and you have rebus puzzles under the cap. What's not to love?

It's the hangover you leave me with. My backup beer, Miller High Life, never makes me nauseous and head-achy the next morning, but you do. And that is why I can't love you anymore. I'm sorry. Maybe this break will give you time to think about the way you abuse me. When you've learned your lesson, let me know. I hate to lose this romance, but that's the way it goes. I just care about you more than you care about me.

I'm a smart girl, and I know how to quit while I'm ahead.