Pawn Shop Adventures

My job is constantly fascinating. Here are some reasons why...

The one-earred guy I work with said this to me "Believe it or not, when we lived in Florida, my wife's boss was a Jew. He was a pretty nice guy." WHAT? Why would I not believe that you knew a Jew? They're not Ewoks. They're really real. My sister is a Jew.

A little boy was riding his bike down the hill in front of the shop, swerved to miss a tree branch, and instead ran into a telephone pole, face first. He was thrown off of his bike, and laid on the sidewalk, whimpering. We brought him inside, gave him water, and the paramedic checked him out. He was fine (his bike was not), but we called his dad to come get him. Turns out he knew my law officer uncle, and not in a good, casual way.

A 76 year old man was denied the return of his firearm when we completed the FBI background check. He was very confused by this. "I'm a good person," he said,"I get thrown in jail all the time for being drunk, but I'm not bad. I know how jail works, I'm in there all the time." Ummm...neat.You still can't have your gun back. Sorry.

The Aryan Brotherhood ordered a hit on a couple at a lake house this weekend. The couple was killed in the driveway of the home. People are very excited about this gang activity. I'm not sure why.

One of the mental health clients came in to the shop on my day off (thank god). He is insane and has no idea how to behave. He used our bathroom and smeared a thick layer of shit all over the toilet seat and the wall. I am so glad I did not have to clean that.

I should keep a diary, because I swear, I had so many awesome conversations this week, and I can't remember a single freaking one of them.