releasing the venom

I'm a little bit pissy today. In order to release the venom, and enjoy Daron's visit, here's a list of things that enrage me...

boxed macaroni and cheese...too much perfume or cologne...dirty eyeglasses...know-it-alls...celebrity culture...botox...sewage backups...rats...people that smack while eating...spilling food on my shirt...spam, the food and the email...aspic (that shit is foul)...when people insist on eating Doritos in a confined space...dirty sheets...cold showers...dead batteries...door to door salesmen...liars...PC thugs...cheap toiletpaper...overcooked vegetables...well-done steak...mullets...one-earred men...elephants held in captivity and forced to wear tutus while hauling snot-nosed children on their backs...cellphones...scratched records...hangnails...man-boobs...steam burns...runny noses...sneezing...drooling in my sleep...socks with holes...cars...elevators...tall buildings...flying...starving children...the homeless explosion...the fact that I don't have insurance...being forced to run long distances...celebrity culture...Donald Trump's hair...the local "news"...jack-hammers...traffic jams...people with more money than sense...the legal system...Child Protective Services (what a fucking joke, remind me to tell you that story sometime)...peanuts, but not peanut butter...sunburns...soccer...the sound of smoke detectors...when Sophie lays on my face while I'm sleeping and unleashes his razor sharp claws into my neck...litterbugs...hairy spiders...the current beauty standards...Tyra Fuckin' Banks