Research? What Is That? I’ll Just Do This Instead

The truth is, I'm a lying liar

I was talking to a friend the other day (about harmonies), and he set me to thinking about the Carter Family. Once I started thinking about them, I started daydreaming, which led me to the idea of writing a story about them (The Carters). This evening, while contemplating my feet, something occured to me. In order to write a good story, I would need to do research. I don't want to do that. I'd really rather just talk to ya'll. I compromised, and listened to the Carters all day.

I do not have a quality segue. Please accept my apologies, or better yet, imagine a really smooth transition here.

When I'm talking to folks, I find myself constantly recommending movies, books and music. I can't help it, I really love movies, books and music. With that in mind, here's my list of things I think everyone should watch, read or listen to, and why I think so. Also, there is no rhyme or reason to this list, I haven't prepared a lick. Information may be incorrect, but I more than make up for it with my enthusiasm!

Book:Music For Torching, A.M. Homes
This book is about a suburban couple. The depravity starts within the first paragraph, and NEVER STOPS. I can't even describe this book adequately, but it involves arson, adultery (in every configuration you can imagine), alcoholism, genital piercing, old men with questions about fake boobs, spontaneous garage sales, wanton destruction of personal property, and a man that shaves the hair off his entire body, for no apparent reason. This is the first 45 pages. I love this book.

Book:Giraffes?Giraffes!, Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance
A fake children's book, full of horrible information you would never want to give to children. And all about giraffes. Did you know that giraffes came from Mars on a conveyor belt? Or that Ted Nugent is a popular giraffe name? The illustrations are gorgeous and hilarious. My favorite part? The phote spread of the 10 most beautiful giraffes. It sounds stupid, I'm sure. I assure you that it is BRILLIANT! There are also books about the giant sea squid, and your disgusting head (don't worry, everyone's head is disgusting according to Dr. Haggis-On-Whey).

Movie:Punch Drunk Love
Today, I declared this movie the best movie I have ever seen. That's not hyperbole. It's beautiful and perfect and the closest you can come to watching a dream on film.

Comicbook Series:Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children (I forgot the authors, doesn't matter, Google exists)
I bought my first copy of this comic by accident, probably because I thought the name was funny. It was about a couple that opened a roadside attraction (you could pet a scorpion with a glove on a stick and something else random and strange). The wife was an expert hula dancer that stood on the side of the highway, using her hula skills to attract road weary men with money to burn. The illustrations are strange and haunting. Other stories include a dying rainbox that collapses on a town, the adventures of the boy born in an electric chair, and the night the shrews fought their own nature. I don't have them all, but I want them.

Music:Actually, do ya'll have any suggestions? I'm kinda burnt out on my music collection, and I want some new stuff. Maybe something that will get me so excited that I want to punch the air. Thanks.

Okay, aside from being a liar, I'm also lazy. This is the tip of the iceberg, but I'm tired of typing. Let's just call this first in a series, and then I don't feel so bad.