’Cause the boys in the hood is always hard

I answered the phone the same way I always do.



"JJ's Pawn, Lazyman Tools, how can I help you?"



"Yeah. I need to ax you a querstion. If like, I like, bring somethin' up there to you, like, do I need to have a driver's license or something like that?"



I could tell that he was from the pawnshop side of town.



"Yessir, you need a state issued license or id to pawn or sell to us."



"Do you keep it?"



"No, I don't keep it."



"What do you do with it?"



"I type the information in the computer."



"How long does it take for you to give it back?"



"About two and half minutes."



"What I mean is, like, how long do I get to pay back the loan?"



"So...you're not talking about your identification? Yes, I keep your item. It's a thirty day loan, but you actually have ninety days to pay it back, but you pay the finance charge for every month that you keep the item in pawn. The finance charge is set by the state, and it is based on your loan amount."



"Oh...well, I'm gonna be up there in like, fifteen minutes. I'm gonna bring you something."



"Hold on. What are you bringing me?"



"A deuce-deuce." (for those of my readers that aren't down with the gangsta raps, a deuce-deuce is a .22 caliber pistol, as when the late, great Eazy-E rapped, "the silly motherfucker pulled out a deuce-deuce". One way or the other, he's a bad brother, word to the motherfucker)



"We like to let our customers know that when they pawn a firearm, ATF requires that they undergo a criminal history/background check when they come to pick up their firearm."



"....What do that mean?"



"That means that if you cannot pass a criminal history/background check, I have to keep your gun."



He hung up. I wish I had told him to bring me a nina (rap slang for a 9mm pistol, see Dr. Dre's "and if I got my nina then you know I'm straight trippin'.")



P.S. Please excuse my extended absence, I've had my hands full, bustin' caps in asses. But, if you're just dying to see what it looks like when I edit a story, follow this little link. While you're there, check out the other guy's stuff. Unless you're easily offended. The Others like to use the bad swears.