I’m Holding Out For A Hero

I recently woke up on the couch at 3 am. Everyone else was asleep, so to entertain myself, I bought a filmstrip projector from the 60's for $20. At that price, it was a bargain. It came in a Samsonite suitcase, complete with turntable, microphone, and the little clicker you use to advance the filmstrip. The movie projects onto the lid of the suitcase.

I don't have to explain myself to you. Trust me, it was a badass investment for $20.

The next order of business was to buy myself some filmstrips. After some serious ebay trolling, I found a lady that was willing to sell me 250 filmstrips from the 40's to the 60's for $15. That's right, 250 filmstrips for $15. I got them in the mail yesterday, and I dumped them all in the floor so to better glory in the awesomeness of my purchase. And let me tell you, there are some doozies, like "Meet Your Mailman", "Mexican Children", "How Clothes Affect Your Good Health" (starring a creepy doll with a massive wardrobe), and a couple of those Disney safety films that star Jiminy Crickett as your helpful narrator.

I set up my projector, selected "Meet Your Mailman" (1949) for my viewing pleasure, and sat down to watch. That's when I realized that I didn't not have a fucking clue as to how to load the filmstrips into the projector.

"No problem," I think. "I don't need to know how to do it, the internet knows."

Well, friends and neighbors, the internet thinks it is WAY too cool to play with ancient technology like an ELBA filmstrip projector. Not a single mention of it.

"Fuck it," I thought. "Who needs the internet when you surely know someone that was in the A/V club in school?"

I'm holding out for a hero to help me redeem my $35 impulse purchase. Are you the A/V nerd of my dreams? I fucking hope so. I've got 250 filmstrips to learn from, and time is ticking.