AN UNTITLED SOMETHIN' OR OTHER ABOUT NOT WANTIN' TO

i don't wanna do this
i don't wanna do that
i don't wanna pay for insurance
i don't wanna drive a car
i don't wanna watch the news
i don't wanna wash the dishes
i don't wanna be a "target audience"
i don't wanna eat broccoli
i don't wanna supersize that
i don't wanna go to the doctor
i don't wanna vote
i don't wanna work a full time job
i don't wanna listen to the radio
i don't wanna walk around with you
i don't wanna go down to the basement
i don't wanna do this
i don't wanna do that

a short one from ze fake dada.

it took about
30 seconds
for my eyes
to adjust
to the darkness

but when they did

man, it was
worth it

untitled short piece.

that shit
was so bad,
that the protesters
had protesters

another untitled nothin'.

i laid down
in the shower
like a murder victim
with john coltrane's
"sun ship"
acting as my
soundtrack

we were in 5th grade, the little boy was younger.

just seen a scene from
an episode of "our gang"

[aka - little rascals]

had a little boy
standing in front of
the classroom &
he's singing a song

[& honestly, it's
very very strange]

but

this scene made me
think of another scene

one where this kid
named donny bayless
that i went to school with
stood up in front of our class &
proceeded to tell "nigger" jokes
as his project for the part of
our music class that covered
performin' in front of folks

donny bayless also once
broke into my house
& stole a decent sized chunk
of me & my dad's
baseball card collection

i still hate donny bayless.

no title as of yet.....

the first time i ever heard sid vicious sing "my way" i was 16 yrs old & on some fairly decent lsd.

as we walked into the music store, i realized the overhead speakers & my brain were simultaneously at an all time high.

my brain said no to all of it & within 2 minutes i was back outside.

whistling theme songs.

about gave myself
a headache
tryin' to whistle



for some reason
i couldn't remember
how it went,
& each time i thought that i
had it figgered out,
some other song would
come out in it's place

usually that mistaken somethin' was



to which i would say
"god damnit......that ain't it"

the other mistake that kept
shootin' out my mouth was



i say "shit.....god damn"

& if i remember correctly,



somehow slipped out,
& that's just fucked up.

somethin' about food & convenience.

captain 'tardo
gave himself a
lazy man lunch
that consisted of
a spoonful of apple jelly
plopped directly into a
container of crunchy peanut butter
that only had a little bit of
peanut butter left in it

then he ate it
with said spoon
right out of
the container

belly slightly filled,
& just a dirty spooon

didn't even have to
waste a paper plate.

none title.

it's possible
that i might
go across the street
with a big ol' jug of
round-up weed killer
& spray the words

CRAZY TRAIN

onto his lawn

it's more possible
that i won't do
any such thing

but, the fact
that i want to
do this act of
retarded vandalism
is spot fucking on.

probably no title...

elvis has left the building

dali has been dead
for a long, long time
[& is never comin' back]

it costs too god damn much
to go to the movies

more folks have
fake tits than the
law should allow

i'm goin' to bed.

somethin' new.

she said
"fuck miles davis"

so i kicked'er
out of fuckin' car
left'er on the
side of the road
turned up "bitches brew"
as loud as the law would allow
& sped the fuck off.

fuck all this shit, we're movin' forward ***aka*** change is only one square away".

i feel fairly certain
(& what a big ol' certainty it is)
that if i had me some of that
word of the day
toilet paper,
at some point or another
i would have the fortune
of wiping my ass
with the word
renaissance

how wonderful do you
think it would be to
replace that roll of charmin
with a botticelli fuckin' masterpiece?

what could possibly
remove all traces
of shit from yr ass any better
than a few pgs from
davinci's journal?
(sears catalog ain't got fuck all to do with davinci's shit eatin' genius)

i imagine
that the nose from
a decapitated donatello statue
would get every
nook & cranny
that you might need
nooked & crannied

ain't nothin' like
wipin' yr ass
& bein' reborn.

i wish i could remember her name, but i cain't....but it might've been winnie. (as in the pooh)

*****************

at one point in time
she was a
beautiful sales girl
over at the perfume counter
at some dept. store
while simultaneously
flippin' burgers
over at cafe section
of the store

when i met her
she was a bitter old hag
who on occasion
shit in her pants
while workin' the register
at eckerd's drug store.

*****************

THE ROUGH LOOKIN' 40YR OLD WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER AT OUR LOCAL DAIRY QUEEN

i ain't never heard of
some 4yr old little girl
walkin' up to her mama & sayin'

"you know what mama?
when i grow up
i wanna change my name
to kitty, then i wanna
have my new name
tattooed in real shitty
cursive lettering
on the side of my neck."

but

maybe
this one did.

one day it was hot outside so i wrote this. - fake dada

no shirt
no pants

just me
& my boxer briefs

front door open
back door open
ceiling fan on high
& it still feels
like shit

each time i pick up
my glass of coke,
drop after drop
of condensation
falls onto my chest
& sometimes my belly

i decide
not to touch
one fuckin' drop
since that's probably
the coolest thing
that will happen
all fuckin' day.

some stuff for you to read.

imaginary
piss colored halos
floating above
blank faces
of peoples
who have ignored,
missed, cursed, shunned,
misunderstood,
possibly even prayed for
(but not yet received), or
are blind to the
things that would put
theoretical burn marks
forever on their souls

i for one believe
that a life lived
without ham,
whiskey, or fuckin'
ain't worth livin'
& is most definitely
not what i
signed up for

besides,
everyone knows that
the burnt pieces
taste better.

you seen that true crime show by the name of snapped?

i ain't
gonna lie
i got a
little rough,
but not
that rough

but apparently
i was
rough enough
to bring out it's
inferior qualities

i snapped

me &
that chair
had a
true "gummo"
moment

if yr curious
as to who won
the fight,
just go
rummagin' through
the burn pile
outback.

*untitled calculations*

me?

don't worry
about me

i done it all
figgered up & everything

so you best
grab a beer from the fridge
& sit the fuck down

because you ain't
gonna believe
this shit.

we had a grocery store

it was our grocery store
our only grocery store
not much of one
but it was ours.

in the same
parking lot, was
a donut shop,
a small steak house,
by the name of "sir loin's",
a sewing shop
& a used book store.

when i was
9 or 10,
the grocery store closed.

now we had a furniture store.

about 5 yrs ago, or so,
the city was gonna bring
in a big fancy grocery store.

furniture store closed
donut shop closed
steak house closed
sewing shop closed
book store closed.

all buildings were demolished.

the fancy grocery store never came.

but the empty parking lot stayed.

an untitled mess.

it's not
good vs. evil
it's not
apples & oranges
there's not
checks or minuses
no rights
no wrongs
no equals
no rivals

no sir

i don't know
what the fuck
it is, but
i don't know a
single motherfucker
that ain't
a part of it.