Vocabulicious

I have an above average vocabulary. I know this, because I can answer crossword puzzle clues easily, write things that sound fancy, I often confuse dumb people that don't know big words, and when Dorothy tries to find words in the dictionary to stump me, she's unsuccessful 90% of the time.

This being said, my love of words often inspires people to bust out their own $2 words.Unfortunately, they don't always use them correctly. Case in point, the other day I was at work, waiting for people to buy guns & cleaning out old mail & junk from the counter. I found a funeral program, which I set aside, figuring that someone saved it for a reason.

"I would keep that if I were you"said the jeweler.

"I was going to" I said.

"That's good, because that was your uncle's nemesis" said the jeweler.

"Oh, so you think he wants to keep it to gloat over?" I asked

"No. He taught your uncle everything he knows about law enforcement. That was his hero. He was very upset when he died."

When things like this happen, what should I do?

I wanted to say, "That was a valiant effort , buddy. You just missed the mark on it. In the future, please make sure you understand a word's meaning before you whip it out all willy-nilly like that." Instead, I just pretended that the misunderstanding was mine. I didn't want to come off like a smartass. So now, the jeweler thinks nemesis means hero and that I'm kinda dumb.

I'm thinking about buying him a dictionary.